My Formal Statement To Mrs. Clinton

“Listen up, Ma’am. If you get elected, this rings doubly true. If not, don’t bother running for elected office again, go fuck yourself, and die. I will try to say the nice stuff first.

“I must commend you. I never thought anyone could corrupt 2 entire government agencies singlehandedly, but bravo. You did it. Trump was right: you are one hell of a fighter. As crime bosses go, you are one of the best; I would not want to have to mix it up with you, as you’d probably suicide me via 2 shots to the back of my dome. You make The Corleones look like amateur hour.

“That said, understand that besides having respect for amazingly nefarious deeds, I have zero respect for scum like you. You are the best bullshitter I have ever seen. You can lie your gray hair off, and it seems no one can make you pay for it. You can pretty much do whatever you want. But I will never respect you, you old hag. Not as president, not as secretary of state, not as a senator, not ever. To me, you’re just a power-hungry, psychotic, maniacal cunt.

“I’m not wasting any more words on you other than this: I know you hate people owning guns, other than your security, and I know you’ll be coming after gun owners if you beat Trump. So understand one thing, bitch: If you try to come after my guns, restrict my rights, or otherwise infringe on my territory, I will be a gentleman in this regard: The sorry muthafucka that comes knocking on the door to take my piece is gonna get my bullets first. Go to hell, you sad-sack piece of dogshit.”

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